The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
