'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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