peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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