I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
try to milk me bitch
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