You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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