Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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