My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
