Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
