I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
