I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
