Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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