I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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