Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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