He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
