If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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