so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
