He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
