u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize