It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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