Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
