I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
