No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
