What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
