Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
