As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize