Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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