Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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