Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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