I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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