So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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