I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
