Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize