Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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