you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
