all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
