are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
