dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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