Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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