Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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