he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How does it feel to date your dad?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
