Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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