My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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