Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize