Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You're like the curious george of whores
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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