quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
