eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
