so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
