Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
