What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize