I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
