i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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