I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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