hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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