My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I look better un-naked...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
