OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
