we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
