I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
