he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
