I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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