Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize