do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
