his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
