Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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